Jared's Blog

Writing attempts

All of Your Promises Won't Let Go of Me!!

The other night while driving home from the gym I decided to call a friend of mine. About 8 months ago I remember exchanging a text message with this friend while lying in bed. “Are you pregnant?”“Yes!”“Me too!”We had both just spent the good part of the week together. We both knew the pain of losing a baby through miscarriage, and now we were both celebrating the miracle of yet another pregnancy. I remember getting tears in my eyes and shivers up my spine when I knew we would both be delivering our babies around the same time.Six weeks later my pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I had been down this road three other times but the sting of this death was no less. My friend will deliver a baby boy sometime within the next couple of weeks. While talking to her the other night I kept thinking, “this could be me.” Going to those final doctors appointments, making sure my house is spot-less for when I go into labor, and waking at every ache and pain and wondering… is this it? But this isn’t me.I realized while talking to her that God has always given me a new promise to hang on to. With death has always come the birth of something new. With every one of my miscarriages I have been pregnant again or have had a new promise given to my by the time my due date rolled around. Once again a new promise has been birthed in my heart. A pregnancy of a different sort… I may not have physical stretch marks from this pregnancy but spiritually I will be stretched in the waiting, the uncertainty that comes with adoption, trusting for the provision, and the longing to bring our babies home. I have sung the song “Promises” more times then I can count, but the lyrics to this song have a whole new meaning. I may not be packing my bags for the hospital or smelling the head of a fresh newborn baby this month but I am holding on to the new promise God has put in my heart. I hung up the phone last week and smiled… so thankful to be a daughter of the King… and grateful that ALL of HIS PROMISES WON’T LET GO of ME!** If you haven’t had a chance, read about how you can help build our puzzle to get our babies home right here:

From Megan last night

It is 10:24 p.m. on a Friday night. The house is quite, the red light on the coffee pot is on, which means the coffee is made and prepped to brew at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, Jobie is in and sleeping soundly in her kennel, Jared is in Canada playing at a worship conference. I should be in bed… a-sleep… but there is an ache in my heart tonight. I just want to sit here and stare at my computer screen. Stare at this beautiful little boy… this little boy that I can’t wait to hold in my arms and snuggle and say “your mommy is right here.” Tonight I rocked Lyla, I combed my fingers through her soft little curls, then Francie… I told her this ridiculous story about a yellow bird with one white feather named Bizzy, and then gave the boys foot and leg rubs with lotion. I tucked them all in and then walked out of their rooms with this longing in my heart to walk across to John Diego’s room. I stood in the doorway and dreamed of seeing his sweet little face in his cozy bed. I longed to just kiss his little cheeks. This is the craziest feeling I have ever had. Adoption is such a beautiful miracle. There is this love in my heart that I never thought was possible. There is this pain in my heart that will be there until the day we go to Haiti and bring him home. I think of John Diego’s birth mother tonight and I wonder if this pain is in her heart too. I pray for her and think about what it was like to bring him to the orphanage. I honor her…this woman that I don’t even know but hope to someday meet.Ah, I miss my little boy tonight. I can’t stand it that he is 2000+ miles away, sleeping in a little metal crib without a blanket… he went to sleep one more night without his mommy and daddy tucking him in. I often think about the fact that he doesn’t even know he has a family praying for him and waiting for him… but he does. I love you my sweet boy and we are doing everything we humanly can to provide all that is necessary to get you home. Sleep tight.

Where in the World is John Diego?

If you haven’t heard our story… we are adopting from Haiti (the country where John Diego lives). God began this story long ago and now we can’t wait to see how the end is written. When Jared and I sat down the other night to figure out the costs of getting our babies home from Haiti we realized the cost would be around $50,000. Small change! J

In order to raise the funds we have ordered a 250 piece puzzle that when completed will be a picture of our little man. Each piece will be worth $100. When we get our referral for our baby girl we will do the same with her puzzle.

When someone contributes to our adoption, we will write their name on the back of the puzzle piece that they contributed to the puzzle. So if 10 people give $10, all 10 names will be on the back of one piece. If someone gives $500, you will get 5 of your very own pieces!

We will post updates of how our puzzle is coming along as we gather what we need to bring our sweet babies home!

If you feel so inclined to be a part of this story feel free to hit the little button at the bottom of this post to give via Paypal or you can send your contribution to The Andersons 17770 West Cherry Stage Road Colorado Springs CO 80921.

Thanks for being a part of this journey! Can’t wait to see how quickly our puzzles are built!

Anderson AdoptionPuzzle Piece $100.00 USDPartial Piece $10.00 USD

Our Trip to Haiti - as told by Megan

Dear Friends,I wanted to write and give you a quick update about our trip to Haiti. There are not any words that can adequately describe the devastation in that country. I personally have never experienced or seen anything like it. What stuck out to me is that there is such resilience amongst the people. The Haitian people are beautiful, and both Jared and I fell in love with the country.We also fell in love with someone else! We have attached pictures of John Diego, the little boy that stole both of our hearts. We are moving forward to adopt him and are just waiting to be a little further along in the process to see who our baby girl might be! The first day in Haiti Jared and I spent the day in the orphanage. We walked in and a mob of about 25 2 year olds smuggled us with hugs and smiles. All of them wanted to be held so we just plopped ourselves on the floor and held them and played with them for hours. At one point I couldn't even feel my legs they were so numb from sitting. While I was sitting on the floor I noticed one little boy who stood and just kept looking at me, taking everything in. I kept inviting him over to my lap and finally he walked up to me and nestled right in to my chest and threw his arms around me. This didn't make the others happy at all. All of the kids scream and cry and soon as you put them down. There were a few times throughout the day I had to leave the creche ( orphanage) and go for a walk to just breathe and take everything in. I kept thinking to myself, "How could I even be drawn to one child when there are so many... the need is so great!" We went to Haiti to just serve and see this orphanage, not to "pick out" a child. Later in the day, Jared and I walked around to all the little metal double stacked cribs and read all of the kids names and birth dates. So many of the cribs had toys and pictures hanging off of them. (We found out that of the 78 children at the creche, only 15 of them didn't have adoptive families.) When we got to John Diego's crib, there were toys hanging on it so we both assumed he had already been spoken for.That night we helped tuck in all of the kids for bed which was so hard for us as parents. These babies are put in a clean diaper, and a pair of pajamas and are placed in these little metal cribs that have a simple sheet. It was so hard to place them in there and tie the side rail up. Some would just scream and I would try to comfort them and do everything I could not to cry. The second day there we went to a village to see another orphanage that is just getting started. When we returned that evening, we were exhausted but so excited to run back down to see all the little faces we had fallen in love with. Jared and I went back again and helped do the night time routine with a room full of boys. I happened to walk into the room that little John Diego was in and there he was looking at me through his little crib rails. My heart stopped. I went over to his crib with tears in my eyes and rubbed his tummy. I kept looking at the toys on his crib and thought, "some family is so lucky to have you!" I left his room with a lump in my throat. I went to dinner and saw the director of the creche. I leaned over and asked Jared if we could just see if he really did have a family. She took us down to her office and got out the papers she had the day before. There on the very bottom line was John Diego - AVAILABLE. Jared and I both got teary eyed and knew this was the little boy we traveled to Haiti to meet. We were able to talk to the director that night and made arrangements to "hold" him for us. We got up the next morning at 6:30 and spent the 2 hours we had before we left with him and then had to say goodbye.I told him his time in an orphanage would be a blink compared to what the rest of his life will be. I already look at him and think what a miracle... He has been rescued and set apart. As sad as the orphanage is, I really believe the kids there are the lucky ones of Haiti. Although their beds don't have blankets, they have a bed. They have food, they have clothing, they have people caring for them... much more then the ones you see when you are driving through the streets of Haiti... and now John Diego will have a family that loves him and a community of praying people that will pray for him and his little spirit. I could go on and on... What God has done in us these past few months on this journey has forever changed our lives. We can't wait to go back and see John. In the next few months we will be getting our referral for our baby girl and then will travel back to visit both of them. Jared and I will take turns flying to Haiti every few months until we bring our babies home.SOOO here is what we need prayer for... This process can be LONG... they say to plan on up to 2 years. I know with God He can make things move quicker then that, but in the waiting time we want to rely and trust that His timing is perfect! Please pray for the officials in Haiti that make decisions concerning adoption, especially President Martelly and Mme Jeanty Villedrouin the IBESR lady who signs off on adoptions. Pray for John Diego, his protection, that God would heal him from all that he has already experienced in his life already and pray for our family... that we would be able wait patiently upon the Lord.So there you have it... the story! Much more to come...

Two New Andersons

2012……we made it. Grateful to still be kicking. I’m writing this on the way to Christ Community Church for a night of worship and prayer this weekend. Had a wonderful holiday. The first one not going to visit family in WisconsinL But it was nice to stay home and take a stab at our own traditions this year. A little shaky, but we’re getting it off the ground.

Some big news for our family. We have started the adoption process to get two children from an orphanage called New Life Link in Haiti. Megan and I are actually leaving Tuesday January 10th for our first visit to New Life Link. We are applying for children age 2 or under.

This process started in our hearts back in September. We have gone through two miscarriages recently, and Megan began to feel the desire to bare more children lift from her heart. This is a big deal because as long as I’ve known Megan, she is the one to be jealous of any mom going to the hospital to give birth. She’s a fan of pregnancy and the birthing process.

During our time in Nashville (May 09-May10) our neighbors adopted two children from New Life Link, and we really felt that after we were done having kids this would be the route for us. Well, now that time has come.

We will posting pictures and giving updates a lot. Maybe too much. Please be in prayer with us as we are believing in faith for the process, the provision, and for a safe transition for two new Andersons.

Much love

Christmas: All this from one child

Stopped in at my favorite coffee shop today to get a dry cappuccino for me and a vanilla latte for Megan. I ran into a family friend I hadn't seen in several years. He's a missionary. Runs missions schools, lived in Afghanistan for years. We caught up on life and talked about different training efforts he's involved in.It hit me as I left that all this hubbub--church in general, missions, discipleship, music, curriculum, books, schools, evangelism, and of course the Christmas season--all this started when God sent a child to be born on earth. One little birth snowballed into people giving their lives for the gospel. Why does God associate with humble beginnings? It amazes me the scale of the gospel. How can something so cosmic be so personal? How can the lover of my soul be the redemption for everything that is cursed?The barely-announced, mostly-missed, media-ignored gamechanger of humanity arrived to redeem the barn of our souls. Hallelujah! What a SaviorHallelujah! What a FriendSaving, helping, keeping, lovingHe is with me to the end

Hear Us From Heaven.....again

To describe the last two legs of the Hear Us From Heaven tour is like trying to describe the view of Pike's Peak out my window right now. A picture and a novel and it still wouldn't be there.Each night the sweetness would begin when people from the community would come up, read Scripture, and begin to lead us in prayer. The shared burden of the gospel coming alive in people as our team, coming from the outside, would unite with local believers on the inside and cry out to God for a fresh wind of the Almighty. Co-laborers with Christ. Each spot unique. Sometimes the conversations and prayers with the pastor or the worship team before and after blew us away. The encouragement we offered and received were so real that each night we walked away knowing the specific purpose of our work for that night.Rod Mendoza, Christian Schultz, Rick Thompson, Kris Johnson, Kyle Scott, Chad Tipps, David Lee........these guys are all ready to preach. They play music and do their jobs well, but that is only the start. Excited to see how it all unfolds in the future.Please pray as we plan the next legs of the tour for 2012. I feel like a farmer that has found his field. In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

Hear Us From Heaven Pt. 2

Thank- you to all who made me feel so loved on my 32nd birthday yesterday. Had an amazing service at New Life Church. Pastor Larry Stockstill from Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, LA spoke. His message was titled "M is for Missions". They guy oozed the gospel for 30 minutes and made such an appeal to put our discipleship helmets on and be about the work of the Kingdom of God. I'm so fired up getting ready for this Hear Us From Heaven tour. We are believing for the power of God to come alive as we lift Him up and intercede for the people that are all around us so in need of Christ. Please be in prayer with us. A full list of the schedule is on the website. I'm so convinced that its not new worship songs that will ignite the power of God but a genuine stirring/baptism/engaging of the Holy Spirit that will open the heavens over our communities.Let's do all we can.

Hear Us From Heaven

Most of you know that the majority of last year for Megan and I was spent building a house. We designed it, contracted it, bought 80% of all the fixtures off Craigslist, drove all over Colorado getting ideas, and walked every step of it out. Through the process God began to stir in our hearts that our house is to be a place of healing. That people will get healed at our house.

We also felt that we are to host monthly nights of worship and prayer. To stand on behalf of our marriage, our kids, our church, our own souls and cry out to God for more of Him. We started these nights in January and it is one of the richest things we do.

These nights have had such an impact on me that it’s become all I want to do with my ministry of leading worship. Stand together with believers, lift up Jesus, and ask seek and knock for more of Him all over our nation. This has lead to the tour Hear Us From Heaven: A Campaign of Worship and Prayer.

This is nothing new. These nights are about confessing in song who God is and what He has done and then asking in prayer that His Kingdom be established in ourselves, our children, and our churches.

My team and I will be in the Southeast (FL, AL, MS, LA) in September (click here to view).In the Midwest in October (MN, WI, IA, MO, OK, KS) In the West (AZ, CA, OR, WA, ID, UT) in February, and the Northeast in April (MI, NY, MD, VA, PA, NC, TN). Not every date is filled right now. If you want to make a request go to the contact page at www.jaredanderson.com.

We know that when the king comes so does the kingdom. We know that worshippers were sent out before the armies of Israel when they engaged the enemy. Our worship is no longer just for a tool for our own devotion but a weapon of heavenly proportion for redeeming our land and our people.

Please cover these efforts in prayer and God brings them to your mind.

Carriage and mis-carriage

So sitting down and pounding out some coherent thoughts once of month or so shouldn't be that hard for anyone, least of all a songwriter. But right now I could crawl out of my skin. The blank screen looks hideous and intimidating.But beyond that, we are on our last day in Wisconsin. We left last Monday morning for the Black Hills of South Dakota. Camped by Mount Rushmore for two nights before making our way over to Wisconsin for Megan's 20 year class reunion, went to Bay Beach in Green Bay on Monday with the brood of 8 cousins, and have been hanging out with the Kanitz clan since.The week prior to our travels was not an easy one. My team and I went to Joplin, Missouri on July the 11th for a community-wide night of worship to bless the victims of the tornado. The destruction left us with no words. The trip was sobering. Got back to Denver Tuesday morning and drove straight to our doctor's office for Megan's first appointment. I walked in to the ultrasound room to Megan, our doctor, and Megan's close friend Jennifer (support for her in case I would be delayed). We've had probably 30 ultrasounds during our 8 years of marriage. Maybe more. They always start the same. A fuzzy screen of shapes that you don't understand. This one ended with a blurry mess of emotions that we don't understand. No heartbeat......again. We just did this last November. As it stands we have four children on earth and now four in heaven.Megan is still feeling funky from the procedure which was that afternoon. We don't feel done having kids. She would love to birth to one more and adopt one as well. Why does it have to be so messy, exciting, and disappointing? I guess to appreciate the mountain you have to go through the valley. Pray for Megan if you think about it.We are still on the hunt for cool baby names that go with Everett, Beckett, Francie, and Lyla. It gets harder the more you have. We'll be starting the adoption process as well.From Proverbs 30

Surely I am only a brute, not a man; I do not have human understanding.I have not learned wisdom, nor have I attained to the knowledge of the Holy One.Who has gone up to heaven and come down? Whose hands have gathered up the wind?Who has wrapped up the waters in a cloak? Who has established all the ends of the earth?What is his name, and what is the name of his son? Surely you know!

Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.

Integrity Music

If you drive to parents house here in Colorado Springs (the current one. they have built the same house 4 times) and you walk through the French doors off the living room into the piano room and open the piano bench, you will find several articles of my musical history. Yes, praise and worship spiral-bound songbooks put out by Integrity Music with songs like "God is Able", "Give Thanks", "Times of Refreshing", "I Sing Praises to Your Name", "Joy of my Desire", "Mighty Army". I could go on all day here people. Basically all worship music that is pre-Hillsong and Delirious came to me through the Hossana cover-art-of-doom praise collection.Fast forward from early 90's to the early 2000's. After moving beyond the 80's licks and orchestra hits into Darrell Evans and Enter the Worship Circle, here I found myself back my church loving prayer meetings and beginning to write worship songs none of which I saw as anything resembling what I grew up until............one fine day.........I got that package in the mail from the company with the Oakley sunglasses symbol with my song in the songbook. Very surreal time.At the present, Integrity Music is now gone through a transition of ownership into the hands of David C Cook Publishing and is moving to our town Colorado Springs. This season of change is the reason for my sentimental-izing on my history with this entity. Its strength in my mind being the art of finding the whisper of the spirit of God in the margins and helping to blow it toward the masses--this will continue regardless of title and corporate status. I've walked through a lot of church change, family change as Megan and I have more children, and now company change. Call it spirit, call it ethos or personality, but my friendships are what last, and my standing or positioning on paper is only as good as my relationship off the paper. This is what encourages me moving forward. The calling to expand people's imaginations about God, the walking of the narrow road, the living by the Spirit, the bringing of heaven down to earth--these are not commodities available on the capital market. These things live in people's hearts and breathe through the halls of our structures.May it always.

Camping - refreshing, not always relaxing

Just took the family on a camping trip to Durango, Colorado for a week. Had a blast in our pop-up trailer at the KOA (yes, I do have a K-card that gets you 10% off your stay). Went horseback-riding, boating, hiking, swimming, hung with friends, and ate s'mores every night. I've always felt that Colorado Springs was pretty much the dream place to live (which it is), but now there's a slice of me still looking up at the San Juan mountains. According to the family guru Gary Smalley, camping is "planned disaster". His idea is that you can either let disaster find you, or you can go looking for it (aka camping). And he describes disaster as frustrating circumstances that you will laugh out years later. This has been true for us.Leaving home is always stressful. You feel like you're moving your entire house into the camper. The kids want to bring every toy, book, blanket, special trinket, and useless artifact with them. Gathering all the food, condiments, utensils, etc. Somehow I have it all "Davey Crockett-style" in my head where we each grab our walking stick and hiking shoes and head out into the woods to live off the land.Yeah, not exactly.At least once-a-day you hit the "maybe-we-should-have-just-stayed-home" emotion when kids refuse to listen and act ungrateful, when it takes you 45 minutes starts to start a dumb fire, or you brought the wrong the tool and you need to replace the propane tank or might run out and no one will get any sleep.Learning to love the problems. Camping makes you feel like a nomad, a sojourner, Abraham. It makes you cling to less. There's a sort of freedom in the discomfort or absence of stuff. Yes I more than my pop-up, and my stuff doesn't describe me adequately because I'm not there yet. My destination is a unity with God that can't be quantified in how much I have.These are good reminders. Our kids love camping. Camping is not relaxing, but it is refreshing.

Easter - Cuddly bunnies and bloody crosses

This morning we had a huge Easter egg hunt at our house. Roughly 40 kids between ages 2 and 8 and about 300 eggs. It lasted all of 10 minutes. Kids are quick these days, especially in a field of candy.Earlier, as we were preparing for our friends to arrive, my boys (6 and 5) were looking at a program from The Thorn, the Easter production put on by my great friend John Bolin. There were pictures of Jesus hanging on the cross with the crown of thorns on His head and bloody whip markings all over his chest. The boys didn't recognize him. They asked me if that was Jesus. We chose not to take them to The Thorn this year because of the graphic-ness. We went to The Crown instead which is a concurrent production for kids.This weekend the clash is so evident in my mind. Its hard to know how to celebrate a death and a resurrection in one weekend. Do we mourn or party? Do we flog ourselves or crank the rock-n-roll. I guess I'm up for all of it. There's just so much to unpack. I love that its called "The Passion" because to me its "The Death". The fact that He rose feels so obvious and natural. He's God. Why wouldn't He kick everyone's butt. But the fact that He let Himself die........and we call it "The Passion". It still shocks me.This year the shock is my response/worship.........in the midst of candy and crosses.

April Fools

I was April Fools-ed in the most peculiar way today. I am in Charleston, South Carolina this weekend singing in the performances of The Thorn and leading at the Summerville campus of SeaCoast Church. Having the morning to get some work done, I tweeted "Does anyone know any decent local coffee shops in Charleston, SC?" (there should be an IPhone app for this). @KrissCasey so kindly responded "try Muddy Waters coffee bar". Brilliant.I get here. The place has NOTHING to do with Muddy Waters' music. Doesn't sell it. Doesn't play it. Doesn't even ring a bell when I ask about the reference.April Fools.Thankfully the cappucino is great. Let's not joke when it comes to coffee.

writing process

This week I was invited to give a talk to worship leaders and teams about songwriting. I have a lot to learn about communicating and public speaking, especially when its on-command. I find it very natural to take a break during a night of worship and "pour my heart out", but a formal lecture environment still scares me.But on the way over, I did manage to come up with three things that might be helpful for the writing process.1. fall in love with the process - If you see writing as a means to an end, you probably won't write anything remarkable. I liken this to having children. It's easy to love the idea of having a big family. It's another thing to actually learn how to love every stage of raising kids. When Megan and I first starting having children, it was a major adjustment to me. Everett, my oldest, used to scream every time I sat down to the piano. Not what this songwriter wanted to happen with my first child.Writing is agonizing and you spend much of your time banging your head against the wall just to finish, only to find that its not that good. Then when something good comes out so effortlessly you go back and try to recreate experience only to fail again. AAHHHH!!!2. give your songs to God - I wrote a song in college about how doing music for a living was like charging tickets to the sunset (I think I'll charge tickets). This music thing is a gift from God that was freely given. How can I hope to be compensated on something I didn't pay to get? Seems a bit foolish. Music is a gift and growing in it, practicing it, writing it, singing it is also a gift intended to be given away. 3.no one really knows what they're doing - Just because I've had some songs that have done well and maybe had some opportunities that others haven't had yet doesn't mean I know what I'm doing. I used to think Paul Baloche had it all figured out. Now that I'm friends with Paul, I realize he doesn't know either. Everyone I've met that I thought had it together is really just doing the best they know to do and stumbling in the right direction. Myth-buster: Everyone else feels as clueless as you.Press on with what God has put in your hands. Don't give up when it gets hard. Don't be enamored with what others have that you don't. There's no secret wisdom.blessings,ja

My father's son

I've got 15 minutes before Everett has to be picked up from school. Been freaked out of my mind lately. Wondering about direction, game plan, strategy, what to chase, etc. All the stuff that's important but not urgent. For some reason it's been really urgent-feeling lately.My son is 6. Because he's the oldest, he goes through season where he freaks out easily. School, schedule, not-getting-his-way, getting annoyed with siblings. But he's 6, as long as he sticks with me, listens to me, does what's in him to do, then he'll be fine. The same rules must apply to me.Anything done out of fear is sin. Anything done out of faith is righteousness. Two people can do much the same thing with two totally different outcomes.There's no reason to freak out. I'm my Father's son. As long as I stick with him, listen up, and do what's in my heart to do, it'll be fine."Without faith it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11:6"Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." Genesis 15:6The rest points to this.

Unsaved changes

Have you ever had a glitch in your computer and lost information? The screen comes up that says "Are you sure you want to continue? Any unsaved changes will be lost."A couple of people I've met with lately are overcoming pain caused by trusted relationships. In one of them the pain was caused recently, the other was years ago. Regardless, overcoming offense in an unholy way can lead to a loss of information. A hole that seems to be "leading" you in a different direction. Holy hunger and a wounded spirit can have the same look to it. One is driven by fear and lack, the other by faith and confidence. Lord, come and save all my changes. Let the glitches and frustrations of disappointment compel me to the invitation of your presence. Only through this will I do the impossible task of loving my enemies.

In Awe

I’m looking out the window flying at 35,000 feet from Edmonton, Alberta to Denver. Frozen plains covered in white. Every once in a while a road like a chalk-line snapped across a desert. Wandering threads of icy rivers. In the distance I can see the Rocky Mountains spread out like a wide speed bump against the horizon. Nothing but endless blue sky and powdered white land.

I’ve just been to a huge conference giving workshops and concerts about church and music and writing and leadership. Compared to what I see out the window right now, it seems small and insignificant in perspective. Or maybe I was looking at the wrong things. The bigness, the crowds, the sound system, the production, the promotion, the sales, the time slots, the hob-knobbing, and the events—these things squandered my attention.

Right now I’m staring at the event. The event is going on outside my window. The majesty, the lighting, the production of nature, the drama of weather, the detail of landscape, the setting of temperature and conditions, the movement of living breathing creations.

I’ve been over-enthused at the power of people, the grasp of influence, the drug of fear, the sensuality of acceptance, the “hot-ness” of creativity, the torment of rejection, the chill of indifference, the stretch of passion, and the parasite of greed.

A re-focus is in order back to awe and reverence. Fear of man should be fear of God. Awe of stuff should be awe of God. Reverence of power should be worship of God.

Ps. 8:4-9

What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings, and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet:

All the flocks and heard, and the beasts of the field,

The birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Leaving my country

Last weekend my team and I were leading worship at a conference in Orlando. One thing about Orlando.............Mickey loves toll roads. My brother and his family live down there as well as my grandpa. I've never paid so much money in tolls as in Orlando. It's ridiculous. They should give you at least five rolls of quarters when you land at MCO.Finished reading through the Bible around Thanksgiving. Not sure when I started. All I know is where I started: at the beginning. Now I'm back at the beginning living with our good friends Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God tells Abraham to leave his country and go to a new place. He says, "I will make you into a great nation." The call of God to Abraham really had nothing to do with what Abraham would accomplish. It was everything that God would accomplish through Abraham. There was no beginning with the end in mind. God started with Abraham and ended with a nation. With each of us, God is starting something with us and ending it long after we're gone. He is working through us. Not the other way around. I am guilty of trying to go through God like I go through an Orlando toll booth. Pay the price, follow the rules, get on my merry way, and complain about the cost. No. God is working through me. He is calling me out. Go to a place where all you have to rely is me. Listen to the point where the loudest voice you can hear is mine.Obey to the extent that it costs you your entire future.Let me change your name and give you new meaning.Oh............and be careful who your kids marry.

Getting life back

It's a new year. A big one for me. We're finally settled back in Colorado after moving four times in the last 2 1/2 years. Also, building a home and managing the project ourselves..........and now its done. No more building, no more moving, no more date-nights to Lowe's, no more putting a movie on in the minivan so we can clean up after contractors. I'm so happy to be done, but it's definitely a change of pace. For quite a while I felt like the treadmill of life was set on 8 miles-an-hour and I couldn't wait to get off. This week feels like somebody slowed the record player down and the music sounds funny.Rhythm. This is what we crave. Sometimes fast and blood-pumping. Sometimes rubato and free like listening to Debussy. The trick is learning how to dance with all your heart no matter what the tempo.I've been meditating on the idea that a muscle must be ripped apart before it can get stronger. Every seed must die before it can grow. Henry Nowen's book "Life of the Beloved" ruminates on the idea the Jesus' body had to be broken before it could be offered. That's us too. We are broken so that we can be given.I guess you gotta lose it to get it back.Happy New Year

New House

Just moved in this weekend. The new house is amazing. Its not just a new house. It feels like a new chapter of life. Like the summer between 6th and 7th grade. You know you're done with 6th grade, but you haven't started 7th yet. You know one phase is over, but the new one is still unseen.I relate moving into this house to a previous experience in my life. About 4 months before Everett (our oldest) was born, we decided to buy a new car. This was 2003. We bought a black, gorgeous 2001 Chevy Tahoe. A really nice, fancy car that honestly made me feel awkward. I was 24 years old at the time. This car was nicer than my parents' car. It was expensive. We paid with cash, but still.....For the first six months I felt so weird. I didn't like driving it. It's too nice, too big, and I don't deserve it.That's how I feel about the house.When I think about the Tahoe now, it's a totally different story. I pull a trailer. We have a camper. I haul my bandmates around the country. We drive the family to my in-laws in Wisconsin. I work that car to death.I'm sure I'll feel that way about the house in a few years. For now I'm a little out of my league.

Forgetful foreigner

An old journal entry that is ministering to me now:

Forgetful foreigner

You know that worship has hit the big time when they start rolling out the Time Life info-mercials. Now that churches have become the radio and CCLI is our Billboard, it’s time that I get serious about my ministry career. This thing could be huge, lucrative, and bless a lot of people. So many churches have modernized their format and they’re hungry to do it “right”. This means ample opportunities to influence, network, coach, maybe even plug my songs.

Yesterday morning I had breakfast with a missionary in our church. He doesn’t let his four kids play with the neighbors because of kidnapping issues. His youngest is 12 and his oldest is 18. They drive and hike to villages and preach the gospel. They fast one day a week because of all the spiritual oppression. They’ve been doing this for 10 years.

Now, I’m sitting in the coffee shop that’s connected to a greeting card store trying to sort out my motives and exactly why I’m here. Not only is the gospel message accepted at my church, it’s applauded, and those who propagate it are encouraged, rewarded, and looked up to. Somehow this has become so normal to me that I’ve adopted a new set of concerns. Who is most accepting and celebrating of my artistic interpretation of the gospel message? What kind of “resources” could this lead to? My guitar players tone isn’t up to par with the last couple worship records I’ve been listening to, whatever should I do?

The old Petra song was ringing in my mind last night as I was touching up the paint in my basement. “We are strangers, we are aliens. We are not of this world” God bless John Schlitt and all his 80’s power vocals. But this new world of church and worship and songs and recordings and conferences and honorariums and tech riders and myspace pages has made me forget some things.

- our fight is not against flesh and blood, record labels, staff meetings, choir members, executive pastors, or overzealous parishioners

- we are in a war for God’s plan on the earth, not ours.

- being perceived as cool is not eternally beneficial for me or anyone else

- persecution is somewhat of a pre-requisite to holiness

- pleasing/fearing God is far better than pleasing/fearing people

- against all my better judgment, it is better to give than to receive

- love the Lord your God with all your heat, mind, soul, and strength

- love your neighbor as yourself

Loud thoughts and spiritual language

My wife and I just got back last night from Northern California. I lead some nights of worship and Megan got to speak at a couple women's events. She was praying with a lady after one event who recently accepted Christ. The young lady recounted how she felt like she heard God and described it as a really loud thought.I love that. It seems that spiritual matters require physical language to best communicate. On the flip side, physical things are brought to life when associated with spiritual language. Starbucks knows it well. They use words like "wonder" and "ritual" when describing their coffee.Spirit and truth. Can't have one without the other. "If you love me, you'll obey my commands." "These people honor with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."Don't know who said this but I can't quit thinking about it. "Worship isn't singing. Worship is justice. And when justice is served the people will sing."a

A Village called Morality

In all this spare time between raising 4 small kids, moving from Nashville back to Colorado Springs, and starting construction on a house, I have picked up the old book called Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan. No, not Paul Bunyun, the American folk-tale logger with a blue ox. My mom read the children's version to me as a kid called "Little Pilgrim's Progress". I've since started reading it to my kids but found myself wanting to read ahead, so I figured I'd plow forward in the old version.Old stodgy English yet potent in language and vision, its a story of Christian who has a book in his hand and a burden on his back. He is in search of how to get rid of his burden. Evangelist tells him to "Fly from the wrath to come" and meet the king who will relieve him of his burden. His first trial is in the Slough of Despond "for still as the sinner is awakened about his lost condition, there ariseth in his soul many fears, and doubts, and discouraging apprehensions, which all of them get together, and settle in this place; and this is the reason of the badness of this ground." He runs into Worldly Wisdom right out of the Slough who tells him the quickest way to get rid of your burden is to go up the high hill to the village called Morality. "There dwells a gentlemen whose name is Legality, a very judicious man....that has skill to cure those that are somewhat crazed in their wits with their burdens." "And if he should not be at home himself, he hath a pretty young man to his son, whose name is Civility, that can do it as well as the old gentlemen himself."The greatest distraction to communion with God is the form of Morality and Civility toward God. I'm running into this with the raising of my children. I can either chase the rightness of their behavior so that they make me look good in front of everyone else, or I can chase the communion of intimacy and presence of their hearts. My home can become a village called Morality or an oasis on the path of the pilgrim. My ministry can easily become a modern feat of catchy, uplifting protocol and spiritual psychoanalysis or a messy feast of baptism, death, and resurrection. So long, village.

Feeding Lyla

Our youngest daughter Lyla is 6 months old this week. We've just started her on baby cereal and it's so fascinating to watch a baby learn to eat as opposed to suck, which is how she stays alive right now.She hasn't learned how to open her mouth and receive the weird substance that is on the spoon attached to my hand. She just leans forward to put her lips near the stuff and then gets frustrated at the process. Then she starts crying and its only when she starts crying that she opens her mouth, and that's when I get the food in there.So it made me think..............maybe its when we ticked off that God actually gets an opportunity to reveal Himself. We're so busy being around the stuff of salvation but don't let it in until we're a mess about it.Just read this morning in Luke's version of the Sermon on the Mount:Blessed are you who are poor/Woe to you who are richBlessed are you who hunger/Woe to you who are well-fedBlessed are you who weep now/Woe to you who laugh nowBlessed are you when men hate you/Woe to you when all men speak well of youI want to be a mess about salvation.